Some days are just better than others

Every surfer knows that some days are just better

than others. Perhaps the wind is better, the swell bigger,

the vibe in the line-up friendlier, the ocean clearer, the sky

prettier, and it seems that everything just comes together

to make for the perfect session. Then there are those other

days the days when nothing seems right, nothing comes

together, the days you can't seem to catch a break.

Everyone experiences those off days when for whatever reason

your mood is down and nothing seems to go right. Seems

to me that many of the folks I work with have more

of those days than others. Learning how to float through a

bad day without it ruining your life is a skill we all need to acquire.

So you got to the beach just as the wind shifted. So you surfed

poorly messing up turns falling like a clumsy grom. So what? It's

not the end of the world. Bad days, bad moods, happen. They come

and they go. The trick is to learn how to be mindful of your mood,

not run from it, and not let it control you. Hey, face it you've had

good sessions on pretty lousy days when the wind and waves didn't

really come together.

What's your day like today?

Michael Peterson and .Mental Illness

I had the pleasure of seeing Jolyon Hoff's new film

"Searching for Michael Peterson" this past week. If you

get the opportunity to see it you should definitely make it

point to go. It is a wonderful movie on many many levels

Wonderful mornings help make wonderful days

What a wonderful session this morning. What a way to start the

day! I have written before about how I love Monday mornings

especially when the sky is clear, the is wind offshore, and there

is a decent swell. Today was one of those days. The September

sky was crystal clear. The air had a tiny nip in it and the water

was warmer than the air. The hollow waves were and in the chest

high range racing down the sand bar. A large pod of dolphins

swam by making the mood in the lineup peaceful, joyous, content.

Dolphins seem to do that.

This morning I decided to ride my 7'4" egg. That board amazes me.

I never would have bought it but every time I ride it I have a great

session. I got the board as a payment for a debt someone owed me.

My gain for sure. Interesting how things happen.

I surfed for about 4 hours before the wind went hard south. I felt

bad for the crew that had just paddled out. Funny how that sometimes

happens, just as you paddle out the wind switches. Life works that

way periodically. By 4 pm the ocean didn't even look like the same

ocean. Five hours of hard wind will do that. On the bright side, the

strong wind should make tomorrow morning fun.

Funny how things are.

From the known to the unknown

Many surfers are very very comfortable surfing their

home breaks and the breaks they know well. Others are

very happy riding the same boards or shapes. There is

something about the familiarity of things that makes

many feel safe, secure, and confident. Is safety, security,

and confidence always so necessary or can these same things

sometimes hold us back, prevent us from having new experiences,

learning and advancing?

On Saturday I just happened to be in my local surf shop

and had the opportunity to help a friend of a friend buy a board.

I really didn't know the guy all that well but I have seen him in

the water and watched him surf. He's got 2 boards both with

about the same shapes one a bit longer than the other. When I

asked him what he was looking for in another board he replied

"something longer, something I can catch more waves on". As

he looked on the rack he gravitated to longer versions of what

he already has. I urged him to consider a great deal on a used long-

board. He balked at first. "I've never ridden a longboard" he

said. "I don't think so" was his initial reluctant reply. As we spoke

I could see that it was the unknown that was holding him back.

"Try it" I said. "Give it some time. If you really don't like it I'm

sure you can sell it for what you paid for it". After a bit he bought

the board and excitedly headed to the beach. I'm looking forward

to the next time I see him to find out how he likes the board. To

find out how he did with the unknown.

As a country we are currently in the midst of the same kind of

struggle, moving from the known to the unknown. If you watch

and listen you can see the styles of dealing with the uncertainty.

On one side we've got those who rigidly resist any and all change.

They want things to be the way they used to be, to get back to

what was. That's the comfort zone they feel safe in. On the other

side we have those who seem to charge headfirst into change

seemingly embracing the unknown, sometimes without adequate

thought. Seems to me that describes our national psyche these days.

Too few realizing that we can never have things the way they were,

we can't go back. Too few realizing that a mad dash into an unknown

isn't always the wisest thing to do. Too few willing to listen to the

other.

Where are you? Are you riding the old familiar break on the same

old shape? Are you charging blindly into the surf at a new spot without

looking for the channel, looking at the hazards? The unknown future,

filled with change is inevitable. How we deal with it is up to us.

Anticipation, Anxiety and Reality

For many of us anticipating, expecting, and imagining are great causes

of anxiety. Waiting can drive you crazy! Nowhere was this more evident

than amongst surfers on the east coast last week as they watched and

waited for the arrival of the swell from Hurricane Bill. In this age

of information overload, internet surf forecasting web sites, instant

buoy readings, Dr. Steve Lyons and the Weather Channel's Tropical

Update (at 50 minutes after every hour), and the 24 hour tv news cycle,

who didn't know that Bill was coming? Who hadn't heard that waves

from the projected swell looked big? A 19 foot buoy reading with 18

second intervals is not something we usually see on the "right coast".

Even people who weren't surf obsessed were being warned about rip

currents, waves in the 20 foot range and dangerous conditions.

A look at Facebook on any day last week from Tuesday on saw links

to Bill's projected path, comments about people being unable to sleep

or work, people speculating about travel plans. What a buzz, what a

hype. Everyone was getting whipped up into a frenzy.

Bill brought some fun waves and lot's of over-reaction. Beaches and

roads were closed. Surfers not allowed in the water. At the Sandy

Hook National Recreation Area in NJ some were even arrested for

surfing. The interesting thing was that the giant waves that were being

anticipated never really materialized. Much of the anxiety, anticipation,

and hype were for naught. I'm not complaining, overhead waves are

great especially when the water is warm. Who could complain about

surfing good waves for 4 days in a row? But it surely didn't live up to

the hype, it wasn't what many expected.

So often in life we discover that too much anticipation, too much hype

results in little more than anxiety. Whether it is anticipating a job

interview, a birthday party, a test, or even a trip, the anxiety often is

much greater than, and interferes with our appreciation of the reality.

Too much anticipation can actually ruin things and not let us live in

or enjoy what we get. Sure it's good to prepare, to study, to do some

planning, but in this day and age of information

overload, of all sorts of advice from experts, it's easy to get too intense,

too involved, too anxious. Try to find the balance if you can. Too much

hype, too much anxiety and anticipation actually gets in the way of you

doing your best, gets in the way of having fun. Maybe that's the lesson

of Hurricane Bill?

Watching the fears wash away

Interesting experience this past week. My son's nephew

is visiting from Dallas, Texas. The little fellow is 3 years

old and his doctors have been strongly considering some

form of autism as his diagnosis. It's been amazing to watch

him for the past 3 days as he experiences the ocean.

Each day he becomes less afraid. The tension that was in his

body on day one, as he held his father in a death grip, was obvious.

Little by little that grip loosened, that tension seemed to melt away.

First it was standing at the shoreline watching and feeling the little

waves. The occasional splash in the face, the push, the loss of

balance, even the falling down all became fun, pleasurable experiences.

The trip beyond the breakers with dad was initially a trip of terror,

especially if a larger wave forced them both to jump, or if his head

momentarily went under the water. Soon even that brought a smile.

By the third day the little guy was visibly loose and smiling as he stood

in knee deep water jumping as what was left of a wave rolled towards

him. He didn't quite have the timing down but he had the idea. If

the white water knocked him off his feet he relaxed, fell into the ocean

and awkwardly tried to stand up and right himself. It was clear now

how much he was loving every minute.

It is getting increasing hard to get him out of the ocean and ready

to go home. He really doesn't want to leave no matter how much

his teeth are chattering. He isn't struggling in a tense way all it now

takes is the promise from dad that he'll be back and his smile returns.

I guess he's forgotten the fears.

Watching the ocean wash fear away from an autistic child or

special needs kid is an amazing experience. Check out the web

sites for Surfers Healing or the Best Day Foundation or Google

surfing for autistic or special needs children. Volunteer for an event

or just go for a while and you'll learn that the ocean can wash your fears

away as well, make you less tense.

Balance, Gratitude, and Love

What a wonderful few days, the kind of days that

you want to savor. I am amazingly grateful for

a few simple things. The summer weather has

been glorious. My morning rituals are a pleasure.

Wake up early, do a bit of yoga, put on my boardshorts

and t shirt, head downstairs for some coffee, and Happy

(my dog) and I walk to the beach. At the beach we meet

up with one of my friends, another surfer who loves

the ocean, and his puppy. Check out the surf, stroll as the

dogs romp, chase, explore and generally have their

exercise, and we make plans.

The surf this summer has been amazingly consistent. It

seems that we are surfing multiple sessions almost every day.

That's a real treat for New Jersey. When the surf is knee high

or under, like today, I grab my SUP and either go for a paddle

amongst the seemingly ever present morning pod of dolphins

and schools of bait fish or ride a few waves. I love the SUP

as a reminder of the importance of balance both on the ocean

and in my life.

What has been one of the more special parts of this new routine

has been the late morning trip to the beach with either or both

of my grandchildren. Simon and Lucy love the beach and the

ocean. My heart is so filled with joy and love as I watch them

in the water or wander along the shoreline. To them it is sheer

pleasure and newness. The sound of the ocean, the gentle lapping

of the waves, the ebb and flow of the water, the shells, the seagulls,

the people all take on a new perspective.

How could I start my day any better? Gratitude, balance, and love

all lessons learned at the beach and surfing the waves of my life.

I'm a lucky guy. What simple pleasures and routines do you have

in your life?