Control what you can let go of the rest

The stock market is finding new lows.  Companies that

defined American industry are running low on capital and

asking congress for money.  Unemployment is climbing

The housing slump continues with prices falling and foreclosures

rising.  The retail Christmas projections look bleak.   Time to

go surfing!

I had a great session the other day.  Only 3 of us out in chest high

waves.  The air and water were both pleasant by November

standards.  It was one of those days when the waves keep coming

and you get a great workout...catch a wave paddle back out and catch

another.  I must have had a hundred waves.  What made the session

even better was the company.  I surfed with 2 good friends.  Ironically

both are feeling the impact of these crazy economic times.  One owns

a number of retail stores, the other is in commercial real estate.  You'd

never have known that these are troubles times.  We laughed, joked,

commented on the glassy, clean lines in the ocean, watched as schools

of fish broke the surface not far from us.  " It doesn't get better than

this" one of my buddies said.  

We don't have much control over the economic woes.  All we can do

is decide on a course of action and go with it.  Control what you can

control, let the rest go, and enjoy the rest.  What's the sense of worrying? 

A sense of place

I'm on a listserve of psychologists with a special interest 

in conservation and the environment.  Sometimes the posts

are pretty interesting, but sometimes they leave me scratching

my head.  Today there was a call for papers focusing on "identity,

place, and emotional behavior".  The call acknowledged that there 

was a growing interest in "research investigating the complex

interactions between self and environment".  It went on to

discuss "place attachment, place identity, and self environment

interactions".

Psychologists sure can make something pretty simple sound

complex!  I know, and have known since I was a young child,

that I belonged near the ocean.  I freak when I'm too far inland

for too long.  I remember visiting Colorado, marveling at the

beauty but feeling a little uncomfortable that I was so far from

the coast.  I guess that's "place identity".  I love and feel

a sense of happiness and of being confortable at the coast,

any coast.  That must be "place attachment".  I can't help feeling

upset when I see trash on any beach, people not appreciating

or acting as stewards of the place I love.  Guess that's a self-

environment interaction.  I'm a waterman, surfer, and ocean lover.

That's not simply what I do in my free time, it's who I am.

Maybe I should write a paper for this conference... only if it's

held near the coast though!

Quiet time to think...or not

Yesterday was a clear crisp day.  The ocean was alive

with blue fish, the wind was offshore, and the waves

barely knee high.  There has been a lot on my mind

as of late so I decided to go for a paddle on my SUP

and maybe even catch a wave or two.

The beach at 10 am was virtually empty except for

a few fisherman and my friend Jim with his dog Diz.

Diz is aptly named he's a pointer with OCD who, unfortunately,

is fixated on his frisbee.  He sees nothing else.  Diz is an

amazing jumper and displays his skill chasing down that

disk no matter how far Jim throws it.  That's about all Diz

can do.  It seems like the dog likes the beach but how really

knows.  He is obsessed with his frisbee.

Back to me.  I'd gone to the ocean with a mind focused on

some difficult and stressful issues.  Not exactly Diz like but

I'm sure you get the point.  Once in the ocean it seemed as if

those thoughts took their leave.  I noticed the water was an

greenish color and not very clear.  I watched the horizon for

each approaching wave.  I enjoyed the glide of my SUP as

I rode each little wave.  I became acutely aware that I was

alone in the ocean.  I watched the school of bluefish making note

not to paddle too near them and making double sure not to fall.

Was I thinking or not?  The stressful issues I'd entered the water

with, for an hour or so, were gone.  No obsessive focusing for me.

Sorry Diz

Oceans and Human Health

Yesterday I attended a symposium at Monmouth

University sponsored by the Urban Coast Institute

entitled Oceans and Human Health.  It's a yearly event

and one that always gets me thinking. The presenters, 

mostly eminent oceanographers and marine scientists,

talked about things like sediment flow,

toxic chemicals, the great values and uses of chemicals from

the ocean and its creatures.  They focused on physical sciences.

Being a social scientist I began thinking along a different track.

What is the impact of our Oceans and our psychological/emotional

health and well-being?  We all know how being at or in the

ocean makes us feel but what do we know about the impact of

an ocean in trouble?  What is the impact on us of an ocean that

itself is not healthy? Might our psychological and emotional well-

being be linked to the the health of the ocean?  I know how upset

I get when I see trash in the water, brown or red algae blooms,

dead fish floating, or sewage.  I know how bummed I get when, after

a rain, the beach is strewn with plastic.  I know I feel different

looking at clear, clean blue green water than I do looking at

water that looks brown.  How about you?

Guess I'll have to look for a research grant.

Contentment

Two days of great surf.  Offshore winds, beautiful warm late 

October weather with the sun shining and the water still a bit

above 60 degrees.  How nice.  After a pair of 3 hour sessions

on Sunday and a 2 hour session this morning I feel great or as

a friend in the line up put it "contented".

That same friend and I had a long talk after we got out of the

water today about contentment.  Too many people are not really

happy with what they have, with where they are in their lives, with their

jobs or their marriages.  So many folks fool themselves into thinking

that contentment comes from something they don't have, that it

comes from "stuff", from things outside of themselves.  We talked 

about a friend whose marriage is failing because of the lack of satisfaction

because of lack of contentment.  One of the partners has a "bucket list" of

things the feel they must do to be happy.  That list includes places to see,

trips to take, stuff to get.  Too bad it doesn't include the really important

things.  The ones that truly lead to contentment like friends, family,

health, something you believe in, something and someone you love and

who you know loves you.

Sure the economy is bad, my house hasn't sold, my retirement investments

have taken a nose dive, but you know what today put me in touch with?

My own contentment.  I've got a job I love, a great wife and family. my health,

and I've surfed 8 hours in 2 days...I'm a happy man.  What about you?

The surf girls get wetsuits

In the continuing fun of watching and reporting on my 2 

friends who've taken up surfing this past summer I'm pleased

to announce that they are now prepared for colder water. 

Their wetsuits have arrived!  

It's so much fun to watch stoke as it grows.  The simple act of

buying a wetsuit, so commonplace to many of us, when seen through

the eyes of the "surf girls" was an exciting adventure that helped them

get through the early October flat spell.  Here on the east coast surf shops

don't stock a lot of women's suits.   Styles and sizes are limited at

even the best shop.  Our girls solved this problem by hitting the road.

They stopped at virtually every surf shop in a 25 mile radius checking

out different styles and sizes, making shopping fun.  In the process they

discovered that trying on wetsuits can be difficult and sweaty job!

After the shopping road trip they hit the internet.  I've learned a thing or 2 

from their research.  They found a shop willing to ship a number of

suits of varying sizes and from different manufacturers for free!  All they

had to do was try the suits on, pick the one they wanted and send the others

back.  How cool is that?  Oh I forgot to mention the 20% discount they got.

Seeing the familiar through the eyes of others can be fun, helpful, and

even therapeutic.  Try to see the world through the eyes of someone

you're having problems with.  It may take away some of the anger.

Now if only I can get certain talk radio hosts, tv political commentators,

and candidates to learn this lesson we'd all be better off.  We could move

from the antagonistic, venomous, hatred that has become such a toxic

part of this presidential election process.  

Seasons change

Yesterday and today clearly signaled a change.

The high temperatures won't get out of the 50's

and the brisk NE wind is making it feel a little too

chilly.  True dawn patrols, the ones at first light

before the sun actually comes up, 

while most of the neighbors are still in bed,

and the only others around are a few fisherman, won't

be happening (at least not in NJ).  Those pleasant

twilight sessions with the lingering conversations as we stroll

back to our cars are done for a while.  Now folks will be

scurrying to turn on the heat and quickly peel

off  their wetsuits.

Seasons change.  Surfers are often more acutely dialed in to the

small and subtle changes.  Each season brings its' own unique qualities,

each helps us enjoy the others. A quiet weekday session with a few

friends watching the geese fly south is special.  A hot cup of coffee being

sipped while checking the surf,  a knit cap pulled over your ears, 

UGG boots warming your toes are all part of what makes fall different, special

in its' own way.

Enjoy each season of your year...each season of your life.