When is it too cold?

The surf here in NJ was as good as it gets this past Monday.

Waves were overhead, the wind was offshore, and despite the

relative cold (air in the mid 30's) those of us who surfed won't

be soon forgetting the day. How can you forget big, spitting

barrels with relatively empty line-ups?

Unfortunately an "arctic blast" has taken over much of the

eastern half of the country. Here in NJ by Tuesday we had

temperatures in the 20's with wind chills in the single digits.

Tuesday's surf wasn't bad at all, stomach high with offshore

winds. A few hard core souls were out braving the frigid wind chills.

The ocean temperature isn't horrible (upper 40's) but single

digit wind chills? Too cold for me. Maybe it's that I just returned

from almost 3 weeks in Puerto Rico and am going back in a month

or so. Maybe it's my advancing age? Maybe it's wisdom? Who

really knows. All I know is that it's too cold for me.

I have gotten to the place in my life where I know what I will

and will not do, what is acceptable and not acceptable.

I've become much more mindful and that's not a bad thing. Are you

doing what you want? Can you determine when it's too cold or when

something doesn't fit into your life's plan? Knowing is a great thing

in that it can guide your actions and help you get what you want in your life.

Same Ocean Different Place

Just a few days ago I woke up, put on my board shorts,

t-shirt, and flip flops and casually set out to check the

waves. Along the way I met up with a few friends who

were engaged in exactly the same activity. We moved slowly,

drinking our coffee and sharing conversation. The air warmed

as the sun rose brightening up the lush tropical morning.

This week I wake up in a somewhat different state. The

comforter that has kept me warm all night seems like

a weight to be removed. I labor to put on the layers of capliene,

fleece, and down. The coffee needs to be hotter and my motivation

to go outside seems low. It's below 30 degrees and the wind

is blowing. Checking the waves isn't a leisurely experience. My

dog runs along the beach looking for other dogs to play with. They

are few and far between this time of year.

Hard to believe it's the same ocean, the same surf check.

Accomplishing your dreams

A few people I know are always amazed that a few

of my best friends and I rarely miss a swell. How do you manage

that they often ask? How is it that while we are at work

you are surfing or traveling? Arranging your life so you can

surf regularly is no different than working at a job you love or

living the life you'd hoped for.

Maria Brophy, the wife of renown surf artist Drew Brophy, writes

a great blog aimed at helping artists. Sometimes Maria's advice

is more about life than art. That was certainly true of today's entry

entitled "Breaking Through to the Other Side". In her post Maria

chronicles her breaking through from a job "slaving in the insurance

industry earning six figures pushing an intangible product" to "living

my dream life doing what I love". You can read her blog at

www.mariabrophy.com.

What do you want for your life? What waves do you want to surf?

Are you stuck where you are now feeling disheartened, dissatisfied,

distressed or even depressed? How can you get "Unstuck" (Dr.

James Gordon's great guide to overcoming depression)? Maria, Dr.

Gordon, and all who have arranged to organize their lives so they

can catch every swell or travel understand that all that is necessary

is to identify where you want be, take the smallest first steps in that

direction, pursue that goal with patience and passion, and don't let

fear get in your way.

Create a life where you are surfing the waves you'd like not one

where you settle for less.

10 time World Champion

For the past month all that has been posted on this blog

has been a title 'Kelly Slater". Today in Puerto Rico

Kelly accomplished a feat unrivaled in all of sport. He

won a 10th World Title. No athlete in any other

sport has accomplished anything even close. Who has

dominated their sport for 2 decades? Who in any sport

can claim 10 World Titles and 45 first place tour victories?

The man from Florida has won victories in small waves and

in giant waves. He's won at beach breaks, reef breaks and point

breaks. This year he beat professionals who weren't even born

when he won his first title. His accomplishments are astounding.

His ability to, not only, win but to adapt to changing styles and

judging criteria is nothing short of staggering and inspiring. Adapting

to the changes in our world and in our lives is a trait we all need to

master.

As awe inspiring and magnificent as his accomplishment is it is

also ironic that, as I write, not a single main stream sports or news

outlet has even made mention of Slater or his accomplishment.

Odd isn't it?

There are many many lessons today's victory has for those who

look for them. Commitment, drive, the ability to adapt, and the passion

to do something you love can help us all excel as we surf the waves of

life. Congrats to one of the greatest athletes ever in all of sport.

Kelly Slater

Just like that it's over

My son Noah has been lifeguarding since he was in high school.

He's now 30 and has a 2 1/2 year old son of his own. On Labor Day

night he wrote a brief note on his facebook page, it read "just like

that it's over". Noah was referring to summer I think but I'm not

sure. Labor Day marked the end of the season and maybe,

after many years, the end of his lifeguarding. Who knows if he'll

be back next year, I kind of doubt it. His post really struck a chord

in me and got me thinking.

We'd just had 3 days of great surf courtesy of Hurricane Earl, days

of building expectation, and by Monday night "just like that it was over".

Hours of all manner of waves, and even a few barrels gone in what

seemed like an instant. The thing about riding a wave or getting tubed

is "just like that it's over". A wave really only lasts but a few seconds

but can stay with you a lifetime.

As I age I have come to realize that "just like that it's over" refers to

almost all aspects of life and even our own lives here during our

"human experience". Life, like surfing a hurricane, doesn't last

forever and can offer many varied opportunities and experiences.

Just remember it goes by quickly so make the most of it because

"just like that it's over".

Danielle dissappoints

For all last week folks were buzzing with anticipation.

All the models were predicting that Hurricane Danielle

was going to produce overhead surf for the weekend and

that the weather was supposed to be sunny and warm with

offshore breezes. It looked, for all intensive purposes, like a

perfect setup.

Saturday morning as the sun rose parking lots were filled

with surfers checking their local breaks. Cars piled high

with surfboards were cruising in every which direction. The

local early morning news reporters and weathermen and women

were warning beach goers about deadly rip tides and high surf.

The surf forecasting web sites had charts with waves in the

overhead range. The feelings of anticipation filled the air.

Apparently no one told the ocean about all the buzz. First light

revealed barely a waist high wave. Surfers on cell phones, surfers

checking their i phones and and blackberries were frantically

calling and checking with friends. Where were the waves? Someone

said it's bigger down south "just got a call from the inlet and it's

chest high". Another group commented that NY might be bigger

while yet another decided to head for the barrier islands. Surprise,

frustration and something akin to shock filled the air replacing the

anticipation of first light. Crowds were scattering.

As the day wore on the disappointment deepened. A few places

had a chest high long period ground swell that closed out or dumped

without much chance of a wall to work. Other spots around groins

and jetties had small waist high waves with workable sections. The

beaches filled up as the sun shone and temperatures rose. Most beaches

didn't have the predicted rip tides. News reporters looked a bit silly

as the live shots revealed small surf and lots of people enjoying the

ocean. Sure there were a few spots with rips but no mass calamity.

How often do you spend lots of energy worrying or anticipating

something in your future? How often does it meet the expectation?

Sure it's fun to speculate and make some plans but... Sometimes it's

good just to look out the window, see what's going on and live the

day as it unfolds.

The speculation and anticipation about our next storm Hurricane Earl

is beginning. Trips to Rhode Island, Block Island, and points north

are being considered. Who knows? Guess I'll wait and see what comes,

keeping my anticipation somewhat in check, not counting my chickens.

Not a bad way to live.

What we take for granted

Best Day Foundation, Life Rolls On, Surfer's Healing, Parents

of Children with Autism, all are wonderful organizations that

provide kids and families with something we take for granted...

a day at the beach, a chance to ride a few waves, and the joys

associated with everything about surfing.

All too often we take things for granted and don't focus on just

how lucky and blessed we are. How often do you find yourself

stressing over something that, in the big picture, is stupid and

quite unimportant. All you need to do is volunteer to help out

at any organization that gives kids and families less fortunate

a chance to experience what we all love.

Do yourself a favor. Give of yourself, give something back for

the blessings that have been bestowed on you. You are not here

on earth to simply ride as many waves as you can. You have been

given a gift, the ability to be healthy and to enjoy all that the ocean

has to offer. Use your gift wisely. Share what you love you'll be

amazed how good it can make you feel. You'll find that it helps

put things in perspective, helps you focus on what you have not

what you don't have.

40 Something Surf Girl update

It's been a while since I wrote about the 40 something surf

girls. They are still at it and still as stoked as ever! The warm

water and little waves of summer seem to heighten their

enthusiasm and appreciation. It's fun to see just how much

they have improved in the past year or so. It's curious to see

just how dialed in they have become to the little things like

tides, winds, swell direction, the joys of a dawn patrol or

an evening glass off.

Being dialed in to the little beautiful and subtle things in life

make for a greater sense of peace and calm. The surfing life

allows the opportunity to take it all in. See the ocean and beach

from a different perspective. The surf girls are gaining that

perspective. They seem to be making the transition from

stoked surf groms to surfers. Their focus has become larger.

It's no longer just about balancing on the board or trying to

catch a wave. It's now become more abuot taking it all in.

Take time in your life to take it all in. Notice the wind, the

clouds, the tides. Appreciate the joys of life and relish in the

great sessions as they happen. A friend wrote on his facebook

page today, "life is short, enjoy it because when you are dead

you're dead for a long time"!

No telling what you'll find at the beach

There's no telling what you'll find at the beach if you

just look around. The beach can be filled with treasures

and it can seem filled with trash. As we edge further and

further into summer seems there are more and more people

on the beach. Some of them are looking, some seeking, others

making demands. The level of enjoyment and discovery seems

to me directly related to they way you look and what you are

looking to find.

My dog Happy and I spend lots of time at the beach almost

every day. Lately he's been finding new dogs to engage with,

new smells to smell, new toys to steal or should I say borrow

play with and bury. I'm finding new people each with a somewhat

outlook, a different expectation. "Get your dog away from my

dog's ball" one owner said to my friend Tim as his puppy jumped

into the ocean after the ball he'd thrown for his dog to fetch. " Your

dog is barking" another owner told Roy. Yet another owner finds

tons of pictures to take of all the dogs and owners as she sits and

watches.

There are many more beachcombers these days. All looking for

something. There are walkers seeking peace, people sitting

on the jetties just taking in the scene, others take great joy in showing

kids the treasures they can find like sand crabs, shells, rocks, feathers,

the banner plane flying overhead, the playful dolphins passing by.

It's just like life. What are you looking to find the garbage on the

beach or the treasures. No telling what you'll find. Guess it depends

on what you are looking for.

Lessons from the Ocean

I saw a great bumper sticker the other day. It read

"Everything I needed to learn I learned from the Ocean".

I love that it got me thinking and pushed me to try to

better understand what lessons I'd learned and if they

were actually sufficient. Here are just a few that I've come

with. I'd love to hear your thoughts on what you've learned.

1) Be curious, look around, and take it all in. The ocean holds

so much if we just look. It can tell you the wind direction, the

swell direction, the tide. It can show you where it is safe to be

and where danger lurks. You can see fish, birds, and amazing

colors and hews.

2) Things change constantly. The ocean is never the same and

it can change in an instant. I'm sure you can attest to that. How

often have you missed a great surf session because the wind switched

or the tide changed. How many time have you seen tranquility turn

into stormy chaos?

3) We are pretty insignificant in the big picture. The vastness of

the ocean can humble even the biggest ego-maniacal narcissist. Oft

times even the problems we feel are great aren't really very large

in the big picture.

4) You can't control the ocean all you can control is you in the ocean

if you learn how and try hard. You have to learn to go with the flow,

let the current take you and not waste energy fighting against the

things you can't win against. Learning to relax and go with it is a key

life lesson.

5) You have to respect the ocean you can't dump on it or in it without

some adverse consequences. The Gulf oil catastrophe is teaching that

to us as I write as are the 5 gyres. What we do is having an impact now.

6) The ocean can be a source of the greatest pleasure and the can also

be a source of pain and sorrow.

I'm sure that I've only scratched the surface, no pun intended. What

lessons has our mother ocean taught you?

Beyond the tipping point

Phillipe Cousteau did a dive into the Gulf of Mexico last week.

Perhaps you have seen it, if not it's on You Tube. So sad to watch

him don a hazmat suit to dive into the oily disaster. So sad to

see what he saw and hear his words. I heard him interviewed

since his dive and he was asked if it was already too late for

our beloved mother ocean. HIs answer was troubling. A man

can survive without an arm, without a leg, with his eye gouged out

but the man will never be the same Cousteau replied. When will

people realize that the ocean will never be the same, never be

healthy he asked?

I too am surprised as to just how many people are not connecting

the dots on the devastation we humans have wrought on the

ocean. The big fish are virtually gone, yet we continue to seek

them out. The list of fish on the unsustainable list grows, yet go

into almost any eatery and look at the seafood portion of the menu.

Gyres filled with plastics ( an oil based product) are in all the worlds

oceans. The stomachs of fish and birds found in even the most remote

places on earth are filled with plastic. Walk any beach on any continent

and you'll see it littered with plastic. Go to virtually every beach snack

bar and ask to buy some kind of drink what you'll get in all likelihood

is a plastic bottle.

The ocean and our unwillingness to look at our behavior is a metaphor

for how many people live their lives. Sure you can survive eating

the wrong food, not exercising, being a workaholic, using your hard

earned dollars to consume for the sake of consuming. You, like the

ocean or the man with one arm, one leg, and one eye can survive. Do

you really want to? Have you, have we gone beyond the tipping point?

One stroke at a time

Roz Savage and Margo Pelligrino are inspiring women.

Both have taken on extraordinary challenges to help bring

attention to the state of the oceans. Both are, I hope, forcing

people to think about what each and every one of us are

doing to play our parts.

Roz Savage quit a career as a business consultant after

realizing that the obituary that would be written about

her wasn't true to who she felt she was. She has now

rowed across the Atlantic Ocean and is presently rowing

across the Pacific Ocean. That's right, rowing across

the Oceans alone. You might want to check out Roz's

talk on www.TED.com.

Margo Pellegrino is the mother of 2 young Children. She decided

that she had to teach her kids what is important by example.

She couldn't just talk about the "right things" to do. Margo

has paddled her outrigger canoe from Miami to Maine and from

Florida to New Orleans to bring attention to the state of the

Oceans. This year Margo is going to paddle from Seattle to

San Diego.

Both these heroic women are making a difference one stroke

at a time. Both setting amazing examples and calling us to

task. How can you change your life? How can you change

your habits or your way of thinking? As Roz said so eloquently

"one stroke at a time", that's how you row across an ocean.

That's how you make the changes in your life you'd like to make.

Surfing makes it better

To take a line from James Brown "I feel good"!

I've been able to surf for the past few mornings.

The waves weren't at all epic, in fact, they were actually

pretty small. To be perfectly honest, I needed my 9'6"

and/or my SUP to even catch waves. On set they were

barely thigh high, but I had a blast and the fun little morning

sessions with my good friends have served to set up my days.

No real surprise that my mood is better and the day goes

by faster when I start it off with a session in the water. I'm

not exactly sure what causes it, what makes the difference.

Perhaps it's those endorphins that make me feel good.

Maybe it's the opportunity to burn off some of those

stress chemicals that makes me feel so content, so happy

and at ease after a surf. Maybe it's being in the ocean and seeing

the beauty all around me. I'm not exactly sure. All I know

is that my life has been kind of stressful for the past few weeks

and I feel better when I surf.

What do you do each day that helps make you feel better,

helps you deal with stress? Surfing sure makes me feel better.

First hints of summer

It happened today! Every spring it is guaranteed

to happen at some point. Today was a warm, sunny,

summer like day. The kind of day when things just seem

right. Finally, we got a taste of things to come. A taste of summer.

There were people on the beaches in bathing suits sitting

in beach chairs and under beach umbrellas. Despite the

barely knee high surf there were more surfers in the water

than conditions warranted. Today was the day the grooms

went in the ocean wearing poorly fitting 3 mil wet suits without

boots or gloves. Sure they didn't really last too long but they

were surfing. They had fun.

The streets were filled with runners, bike riders and walkers.

First Night in Asbury Park was crowded and people were happy.

A taste of summer. A taste of things to come.

Amazing how a little preview of something good like summer,

can lift the spirits of so many. Knowing that things will get better helps

us all. It's good to know for sure, good to feel it, to actually

experience it.

Know, no matter how cloudy, dark, drab, or down life may seem,

things can get better. Summer does come. It sure is nice

to actually get an early taste to remind us, to keep our spirits

up. Now if we could just get some surf to go along with the

summer weather things might even seem perfect.

Decisions, decisions, and peace

Sometimes having too many options, too many

decisions to make can be a bad thing. How many

surfers have large quivers with a healthy variety

of surfboards, shapes, and sizes? I know I'm guilty for sure.

I've got almost every kind of board imaginable from a 5'8"

retro fish to a 10'10" SUP with just about everything in between.

I own longboards, shortboards, guns, eggs, single fins, twin fins,

tri fins, and a quad. Got all my bases covered I guess, but

sometimes all it does is confuse me. Sometimes I wish

I didn't have so many choices, so many decisions to make.

It sure was easier when all I had to do was grab my only board

go surf.

Life can seem a lot like picking out a board to ride. To

many choices can lead to too much stress. Narrowing

down the array of options can be a relief, can provide peace.

Recently I've had to make some decisions, I found myself

thinking about and exploring all the options

available. Like many, I asked others for their advice. I heard

lots of ideas, lots of opinions, lots of choices. It

became almost overwhelming. After a bit of time, some meditation

and thought I reached my own decision. I decided what I would

do, which board I'd ride as it were. No more second guessing.

Odd how peaceful it can become when you make a decision, pick

the board you'll ride.

Make your own decision. One that is right for

you. You can second guess forever, wonder if you've chosen the

right path, the right board, or you can mindfully

and thoughtfully pick one, have confidence in it and enjoy

your session. It's your choice.

Filters

In surfing and in life it's really how you look at

things that matters. What filters do you use that

influence what you see or what you hear. How do

your filters impact the quality of your life, your

relationships, and how you communicate with others?

I listened as a surfer I know talked about a recent

session. "It was amazing...so good and not at all crowded"

Another surfer who was surfing at the same spot and

at the same time told me "it wasn't really that great, the

wind was blowing hard and it held you up making it tough

to make the drop". Yet another told me "the ramps on the

inside lefts were great for launching airs. I had a blast!"

Three surfers all seeing things from their own unique

perspective, judging the same wave in very different ways.

I hear similar things in my office. Just tonight I worked

with a couple whose big issue revolved around one partner

hearing something through their own filter. What they heard

and ultimately reacted to was not at all what their partner

actually meant or said. They never even thought that

they could have been filtering the message through their

own perspective and not actually hearing what was said

or what was meant.

Do your filters get you in trouble? Confuse the messages?

Dictate your reactions? Try to understand and listen to what

is actually being said not what you think was said or what you

think it meant. Slow down before you react. The same surf,

the same time, 3 different perspectives. Probably happens in your

life alot.

Lost in Whitewater

Wow, it's been a while since my last update.

Sort of like someone wiping out on a big wave, a Tres

Palms, Mavericks, or Waimea Bay type big wave, and

disappearing in the white water before suddenly popping up.

I've popped back up!

Not quite sure what held me under for so long. I barely even

remember wiping out at all. Guess we all get lost at times.

It's easy to lose our focus, or get too involved in some things without

remembering how important other things are. Maybe that's

it, I lost some focus. I got busy in the office, found myself

focusing on the trivialities on each day, dealing

with what might seem the more important events in one's life, or

maybe it was the joy of surfing in the warm waters of Puerto Rico.

Be that as it may, I got lost or should I say sidetracked. We all do.

The important thing it to pop back up! As long as we pop back up

out of the whitewater after a wipeout we're fine. Even long hold

downs have lessons to teach.

Flat, cold, and snowy

As I look out my office window I can see the

snow falling... yet again. At least it's putting a fresh

coating on the dirty piles of snow that have yet to

melt from the last 2 major storms. Looking at the

surf forecast for the next week or so here in NJ doesn't

exactly fill me with excitement. It's going to be flat...again.

It's been flat, cold, and snowy for way too long this winter.

Not much joy amongst the local crew.

Seems to me that people are coping with all this in a few

observable ways. Some are putting their heads down and

trudging along, doing what they have to do. They are kind

of stoic, not really complaining. They are just putting one

foot in front of the other and moving along. Than there are

those who accept their fate making the best of what they can't

change. They're heading to the nearby mountains where the

snow and conditions are amazing. Than there are those who seem

to be able to do little but complain. It's almost as if they have

given up, given in to depression. I'm not at all a fan of flat, cold,

or snow but I'm lucky enough to be able to escape.

With winter, like all the other stressors in life, there are really

only 3 things we ever can do to cope - 1) remove the stressor;

2) remove ourselves; or, 3) learn to cope as best we can as to not

let the stressor get to us. Which way are you choosing to cope

with the flat, cold, and snow? Is it working for you?

"Legions of the unjazzed"

Phil Edwards was, during the late 1960's, considered the

best surfer in the world. He rode waves with a style and

grace that influenced generations to follow. He also authored

the rare and much coveted book "You Should Have Been Here

An Hour Ago". If you do a little research you might even find

the 1967 Sports Illustrated with Edwards on the cover.

Occasionally we all come across a sentence, a phrase, or even

a song lyric that seems to imprint in our brains and sticks

with us popping up at seemingly unlikely times. For me "The

legions of the unjazzed" is one of those sentences. Edwards

used it to describe " the day-to-day people, the hackers..." who

are taking over... The uncounted millions...who go through life

without any sort of real, vibrant kick". The people I encounter

in my office who draw a blank stare when I ask them what

they are passionate about, what really excites them. No surprise

that these legions often suffer from depression, have lost touch

with the joy of life.

I'm writing this at my house here in Rincon Puerto Rico. I've been

coming to Rincon for decades. It is a place that is, not only

beautiful and has good surf, but is populated by people that

seem to know what excites them, that know what they are passionate

about. Not too many depressed people here.

Find and embrace your passion. If you can't remember what excites

you, by all means, find it!

Out of touch with nature

As surfers we are the lucky ones. We seem most at home

in nature, in the ocean. We are dialed in to the rhythms of

the natural world - wind, tide, swell, sand. reefs, low pressure systems,

the ocean, and the life that calls the ocean home. It's easy to

forget that others are actually out of touch with nature. Out

of touch with all that is around them.

These past few weeks the Atlantic, here in NJ, has been asleep.

No waves, no real swell to speak of, but to those who take the

time to look there is plenty going on in our natural world.

We've had more seals showing up on the beaches than in

recent memory. Amazing how some people are freaked

out by the idea. Seals on the beach...how could that be they ask?

The nor'easters of the fall and early winter have done some

interesting things to our dunes and sandbars. Yesterday I

walked the beach in Seaside Heights, you know the home of

that bizarre MTV show "Jersey Shore". I Actually walked past

the place they lived but not on the boardwalk. I was on the beach

with another surfer checking out the carved out beach, the new

sandbar layout. We were watching as 8 inch waves peeled down

the newly formed sand points. We speculated about what will

happen when we get a swell, how those bars will perform.

Meanwhile behind us, up on the boardwalk people were taking

pictures of the closed t shirt shop and the painted door of the

MTV house. Not exactly nature, not exactly real but I guess

that's their world.

Research tells us that people who spend time in nature are

healthier and less stressed. No real surprise to surfers. Take

the time to connect with the natural world around you. Walk

on the beach, take a hike in the woods, visit a nature preserve.

You'll feel better for it. You will find yourself more connected

yet more at peace. The seals on the beach won't surprise you so

much and you'll be less interested in the fantasy of "reality tv".

Great days

I'm sure you all have had a really great day in the surf.

A day when everything seemed to come together, where

it's as good as it gets. Doesn't have to be a giant day or

even a perfect day, it's just for you a really great day. It

makes no difference if you have just begun surfing, if

you are Kelly Slater, or some seasoned "old guy", great

days happen to us all.

I had a great day yesterday. Simon my grandson called

me grandpa for the first time! At 22 month he's developed

quite a vocabulary in both Spanish and English. Seems

that every day for the past months he's been letting us know

he's mastered new words, new phrases. What a joy to hear

him say something he's never said before, to watch as he

realizes that others understand him, that he's actually

communicating. The "grandpa thing" was different I think.

I'll bet he's been able to say it for a while now but he's been

playing with me and holding out. He just wasn't ready.

Prior to yesterday when-ever someone asked him who I

was, what my name was he just smiled a coy smile, a knowing

smile. But for whatever reason yesterday was the day.

He decided to say it. My day was made, my joy incredible.

Such a little thing meant so much.

What little things mean a lot to you? Do you seek them

out, nurture them? Whether it's having a great session,

making a personal change, connecting with a friend, or simply

living with the aloha spirit, great days can come from

little things. Make it a great day in and out of the surf.